My Story …

Journal Entry: August 17, 2011, Teeny Tiny Farmhouse, hot blue sky day, 3.30pm

Ok, time to get a little more personal and share some our story with you.  Some of you may know this and others will be hearing it for the first time. 

I truly believe stories make the world go round.  Inside each of us are many stories, and each of our stories has the power to ignite a spark in someone's dream awakening.  It is through our stories that we can connect and not feel alone, like the only one who has done or felt x, y or z.

So here is the beginning of my story€¦

I close my eyes and hear the sound of the fan in the heat of the day.  Watermelon juice trickles on my lips.  The sun is so high and hot that even the farm animals are quiet.  They too are taking refuge from the heat.

It is very quiet as I lay on the bed typing to you, all but for the fan whirling at the bottom of the bed.  I close my eyes and marvel at the fact that even in my wildest dreams 10 years ago I could not have imagined this scene.

I am here, little girl from a small village in the Midlands, England, living in Petaluma, having lived in San Francisco for 10 years.  In a teeny tiny farmhouse living AND working with the one of I love the most in the whole wide world.  Doing what I love and helping others to do the same.

Just before my house fire in September 2001, I was 180lbs (I had lost 20lbs), a six figure corporate lawyer.   Working for top 5 law firms and admitted in New York, England & Wales, and about to sit the CA Bar.

I had it all, success and a life, "Made in America."

So why was I so sick and tired?  Why was my weight ballooning and my mind spinning out of control?

Just a week before the fire I was writing in my journal that I needed to "get out" but didn't know how.  That I felt like a square peg being pushed into a round hole.  I was good at my job, my clients loved me yet it was not good for me.

I hit my life worst at that point.  Little in life other my four closest friends bought joy to my life.  And the outlook did not look any prettier.

I wanted out but couldn't find a door.

And then the Universe opened one for me after I nearly died in a four alarm house fire, near Golden Gate Park, two days before September 11, 2001.

We lost most of our possessions, all eaten by a fire and shoveled into a pile on the street, charred and disintegrated.  A black smoky shell of a house remained.  I went through that rubble pile more than once wanting to believe that my journals with my recent dreams and revelations might actually have survived.

It was wishful thinking.

But my Dharma books, my shrine, and my new book on Kundalini Yoga, remained intact, a little smoke damages but otherwise ok.  Hmmm, what a message.

Everything else, my laptop, 9 years of journals (my very first one in SF survived but it was the only one), to all my clothes and trinkets, plates, cleaning materials and more than 5000 books, was gone.

This would be the beginning of learning that yoga endures!  Every time. 

Tune in tomorrow as I tell you about how Kundalini Yoga came into my life and how it changed my life in so many ways.  Without that experience I would not be here today living a life that I truly love with the one that I love.

Are you living the life you love?  If not what are the missing elements?  How would your life be different if you had these elements?  How much is it costing you to stay stuck in a life you don't love? Is it time to make a change, and do something different, in a different way for a different result? 

I would love to know.

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