There I go again, why do I do this to myself?

It’s 10.43PM and past my bedtime, at least past my time to be here on the computer. I did it again, made a declaration and here I am carrying it out. Yep, I gone and done it again, putting myself on the line.

Day 3 can often feel like that. It all starts off breezy and then life settles in and I find myself wondering what the hell I was thinking.

And then I remind myself that I was thinking that I have a gazillion note cards, hence the name #notestoself, and that the reason I agreed (with myself) to do 40 days of entries is to not only give the cards life but get my writing groove back on.

And at the same time this all makes me want to run for the hills, to hide and retract. But that’s just fear speaking, I know this because I have been here before, fear has many voices and rarely calls itself by it’s real name.

So yes it is late tonight and I am here. I said one entry a day, and this is an entry :). Day 3 can be tough, and then day 4 comes and another challenge will likely rear its head-it’s one of the (many) things I love about doing a 40 day practice, you go through all kinds of (mental) terrains, and ultimately you come through, day by day.

I did my first 40 day practice when I was doing Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training in 2002. It was without a doubt (for me) a life changing time. And I have used 40 day practices ever since when I want to work in new habits and work out old ones.

And every time they have their own cadence and bumps in the road, as well as some sweet spots along the way. The only way out is through and a 40 day practice is to do it day by day. As my yoga teacher always old us, the first day you don’t do it you don’t have a 40 day practice and you are back to zero.

It’s not the best time for me to decide to publish daily but then when is the best time, and how would we know that this is the best time?

So, I’m calling it a night and staying in my own game with this entry and I will be back again tomorrow, every day is a new dawn.

How about you? Do you set yourself up so you have to rise, or do you keep promising to start, or stop, doing something but lack traction?

Still shaking my head that I am doing this but grateful I am about to hit my 11.11 deadline. See you tomorrow and don’t forget to leave me a note and let me know I am not the only nutter in the room.

Sending you love.
Sat nam